Writing for an audience

I, like a lot of us these days, have a fear of what the future may bring. The fear ultimately stems from a lack of knowledge. The ambiguity is what keeps me up at night. It's easy to reside in a sort of soft nihilism where you have just accepted doom so it justifies forgoing moral and ethical decision-making. That's a lifestyle I just cannot accept. I worry that this need for purpose that I have will destroy me someday. If I keep on this path of naive gravitas about my own life, I will have nothing left. I have taken great strides in mourning the change, I used to have really debilitating spirals when seeing how the world feels so different now than it did when I was a kid. I now know that that feeling of change is somewhat inevitable, but being able to come to terms with a changing world is the most powerful tool we have against this soft nihilism, it maintains our ability to not fall into hopelessness. The way people cope with this unknown that we are all feeling is very inte...

In my heart of hearts, I am a deeply lazy person. I sometimes think that talking smart and smooth can give off the perception that I'm well-read and therefore not a lazy motherfucker who stares at my phone rotting my brain for hours every day. When I get confronted with having to address my laziness it frequently causes existential crises. Just recently I told my professor about my first blog post and he asked me to send it to him so he could read it. So I took out the part of elderly Jewish men liking the sound of their own voice and I sent it to him. I prefaced the email saying "please don't take this too seriously, I just wrote this for fun". It didn't go well. At the start of the next class he said in front of everyone "Gabe I read what you wrote. I think that if we disagree on this fundamental level of seeing skepticism as the ultimate form of understanding reality, then maybe you should drop this class". I just looked back at him with stunned Pikac...