Writing for an audience

 Saw a fight on Thursday Some guy was blasting Jazz out the back of his car on Front A guy was yelling at him to turn it down That guy got beat up I was eating ice cream

Grahhhhhhhhh Grahhhhhhhhh Grahhhhhhh I am alive, I am alive, I am alive, I am alive. Have I just been tricking myself and the world into thinking I am the person I want to be seen as? Sometimes I feel like a stranger to myself. I feel like I have done an expert job at convincing the world I am a better person than I am. I just want to be seen, that's all I've ever wanted. How can I ever be seen if I am constructing this facade? This thin bullshit facade. Do I stoop to the level of person I think of myself as in these moments? Do I try to live up to the image I have tried so hard to curate? Why do I fucking care so God damn much? Why do I think about myself all the God damn time? Why can't I stop? Why can't I Just commit myself to something or someone and just be done with it? Just stop fucking searching. I'm so tired of searching. Sometimes I think that I am blessed with the ability to search. I didn't have to go to the mines at 15 and never think about myself u...